Fear

There are not a lot of things that scare me. The short list of things that do includes hiding siblings, riptides, people from central Florida, youth group kids sneaking up on me, and apparently storms.

Earlier today I was leaving Walmart after getting supplies for the LDCoC lock in this weekend. I was thoroughly enjoying the torrential downpour and all of the massive puddles it produced for me to drive through, but then a traffic light pole next to me got hit by lightning and I nearly wet myself (sorry if that grosses you out).  I can remember pretty much exactly what I was thinking at that moment, it went something like "I'M GONNA DIE! GOD IS SCARY! MY EAR HURTS!" Yeah, I think that about covers it. I'm still shivering from the fear (not really I just got soaked and now I'm sitting in Starbucks drinking iced coffee and being frozen out by the arctic air conditioning that Texans deem necessary.)

I honestly don't know that I've reflexively thought about how fearsome God is at any other point in my life, but it got me thinking.  Why haven't I ever really acknowledged the scariness of God before? Why is my first reaction when scary things happen to worship my Creator who is powerful and fearsome?

A fairly blatant example of my failure to praise God for his fearsome power came in December at the end of my Pac Rim trip. I was in Hawaii on one of the coolest beaches ever with some great friends doing some body surfing (and generally being unwise).  The first signs of God's power came each time I slightly mistimed my jump on a big wave and my body was SLAMMED into the sand and then twisted around by the force of the waves.  It hurt like crazy, but made me feel pretty alive at the same time.  Then the real fear moment came when I thought "I'll just go out a little further and catch the bigger waves." That was a bad idea. About 10 feet further out I could no longer touch the bottom and upon looking back at shore I realized I was moving out and south at a VERY alarming rate. Pretty soon I was out past the boldest of the surfers DESPERATELY trying to swim my way back in to the beach. Oh I should mention that this beach was probably only about 300 feet wide, surrounded by sharp volcanic cliffs, and I had started at about the middle.  The amplitude of the swells at this point had to be at least 12 feet from peak to trough, and between each all I could see was water. I was too far out to yell at anyone on the beach, and none of the surfers could see that I was in trouble, so I just kept swimming and trying to ride the waves and surf them back in, or at least north up the beach.  After what had to have been 5 minutes of exhausting, water-gulping, leg cramping kicking and swimming, I was back in water that was shallow enough for me to jump off the sand and keep my head above water. After that I basically crawled back onto the sand and sat for a while thinking "Man, I'm lucky."

There I was in the midst of the most obvious display of God's power I had ever felt and I completely missed it. Sure while I was on the beach before I started I acknowledged God's beautiful creation in the blue water, white sand, and black cliffs surrounding me, but when could physically FEEL God's power I failed to acknowledge and praise him for it. More importantly I failed to thank Him for saving me from my own foolishness and instead chalked it up to luck.

I think that my failure to acknowledge is a direct result of my failure to comprehend. Each of these two isolated events has been but a small physical and visual display of God's power, yet somehow I can't seem to be constantly aware of ALL of the things that show God's glory and power.  I'm envious of the attitude shown in many of the Psalms, acknowledging God's ultimate power, for example, Psalm 93;

The Lord reigns, he is robed in majesty; 

    the Lord is robed in majesty and armed with strength;
    indeed, the world is established, firm and secure.
Your throne was established long ago;    you are from all eternity.
    the seas have lifted up their voice; 
    the seas have lifted up their pounding waves. 
Mightier than the thunder of the great waters,
    mightier than the breakers of the sea—
    the Lord on high is mighty.
    holiness adorns your house 
    for endless days.

The seas have lifted up, Lord,

Your statutes, Lord, stand firm;

Psalm 93 vividly depicts God's power, but included in his power is his love for us, as illustrated in Psalm 46;

God is our refuge and strength, 
    an ever-present help in trouble. 
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way 
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 
though its waters roar and foam 
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, 
    the holy place where the Most High dwells. 
God is within her, she will not fall; 
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us; 
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the Lord has done, 
    the desolation he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire. 
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; 
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

In light of God's scary displays of power in my life, I'm thankful that the "LORD almighty is with us."  I'm going to start making an effort to remember God when I feel the power of his creation, and to thank him first when I miraculously live through ridiculous situations I put myself in...